Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
