I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
