Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
