My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
