when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
