just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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