They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
