Don't you send me to vm
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
