Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
