if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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