Slut skills are useful in every country.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Still dying that you shit outside
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
