I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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