ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
