You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
