I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
