She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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