I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
