This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
