Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
