yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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