your parents love me but you hate me
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
