I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
