I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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