One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
