see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize