Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
