hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
