she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
