She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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