Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
