So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
