During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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