Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
farters have to be the big spoon...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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