just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
