would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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