i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
