positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
