How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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