I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
