i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
