As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
