8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
