im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
