when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
