i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
