I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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