i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
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