Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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