...so i touched it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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