i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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