My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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