can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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