somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
