you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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