Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
