So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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