I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
