guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
