Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
