so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
