Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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