So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
God, I missed his penis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
