please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
