he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
