I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
where are you?
Hypothermia
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
