Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
