hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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