Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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